Cafe Azul

I'm sitting in Cafe Azule in downtown Santa Rosa, California.  It's a gorgeous rainy day outside.  This time of year is when I miss the rain.  It doesn't really rain in Colorado at this time of year....just snow.  blurg.

Anyway, here I sit.  Stealing a few moments to get some work done.  I love visiting family.  However, I don't get much work done, no matter how much I try to convince myself that this trip I will get some schoolwork done. So, I thought I'd take a few moments this morning to come try squeeze a few sentences on some paper.  And so, here I am.

There's a lot to catch you up on.  My computer sat in the shop the last two weeks of school (great timing Apple), which is why I couldn't update you further.  For this morning, I'll just fill you in on what I'm doing right now.  I'm here in NorCal visiting my partner-in-crime, who lives here and has a sweet job.  I drove here.  Yes, that's right.  I packed up my two kitties and drove 1200 miles across Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, and California.  It was fairly uneventful, except for a flat tire in Sacramento.  But, a few minutes later, I was on my way and home.  This is an exciting time to spend 3 weeks at my in-law's house.  Isaac lives here, his brother lives here, and his parents of course.  His brother and sister-in-law are remodeling their house and are also taking up temporary residence at the house.  Today, the youngest will be up from San Diego on break from school.  On Thursday, Isaac's sister and grandmother will also be here.  So, for a period of time, there will be 10 people in the house.  Party!!!!  And that doesn't count the animals. There will be two dogs, 3 cats, and 2 fish.  One of the dogs is a french mastiff.....that doesn't make a huge difference.  I just want you to get the full effect and a mastiff is a big dog.  They are all doing fairly well together so far, though there have been a few hisses and bites.  And I also found my youngest cat with his nose submerged in the fishbowl and 2 paws wet.  However, the fish still live.

So, you can see why I needed to escape for a bit.  I mean, I have to escape my own house to get work done.  And it is just me there.  There are far too many distractions waiting to get me off track.
That being said, I need to get to work.
Ciao.

Made it!

I'm almost finished.  The only thing remaining between me and freedom is one very intimidating stats test.
So far, I've done pretty well in the class.  This may be my first B in graduate school. If I make an 86 or above on my final, I'll get an A.  Unfortunately, our graduate school uses a plus/minus system.  So, my 4.0 could still be tarnished.  However, none of that matters.  This is my last calculation-heavy stats class, so I'm not too worried about it.  Right now, I'd take a C to avoid doing anything else in the class.
Next Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

The problem with writing a disseratation

Ok, I was politely reminded by my brother that I haven't blogged in 10 days.  Or maybe more than that now.  I'm too tired to hit the back button to see.

I have other things to update you all on.  I even have part of it already written, just have found that big ending.  But, let's focus on the task at hand.

I was struggling with some topical dilemmas. You see, this is supposed to be a blog about my dissertation, or at least closely related.  I started it to talk about my dissertation and as a device to get me working on it.  I sit down to write and get immediately distracted by many things.  This blog is a way to get those distractions out into the open so I can concentrate on my dissertation.  Not working.  I just get distracted.

See, here's the problem with writing a dissertation.  You have to write it, or at least some of it, while you are in school.  While you are in school you also have a gazillion other things to be doing.  At least, you have a gazillion other things to be doing regarding writing, reading, thinking, and creating.  These are also all the things you have to do with a dissertation.  Let me tell you doing all that gets really boring.  Sometimes, I just want to listen to music or watch funny, mindless comedy.  Or just do nothing.  Plus, in school there are deadlines. With a dissertation there is a deadline, but it is completely different.  I set the deadline.  In class, every teacher basically believes that their class is the most important on your schedule.  Therefore, the deadlines are set and immovable.  These deadlines take priority over the dissertation, which I have until next summer to get together.  That's ages away (not really)!

So, my dilemma is this: do I spend all my thinking/reading/writing/creative time working on a really boring 15 page paper and a 12 page sort of interesting paper, but not my research area that I have to write?  or on my dissertation, which is far more interesting?

The answer: not my choice. My first paper was due last week.  My 2nd paper is due on Thursday.
No dissertation work has been done in: too many days to count.

The meeting I did not have

I was supposed to have a meeting Tuesday with my advisor. She texted me to say she didn't feel well and didn't know if she would have much to offer.  I stopped by her office anyway, to have my time sheet signed and trick her into meeting with me.
We talked a little about my research question.  That part really interests me.  I'd love to sit down right now and design the actual study.  I'm excited about that, the data collection and the results.  I could do without the lit review, transcribing and actual data analysis.  (Actually, that's kind of a lie.  I like data analysis.  I'm just currently in the midst of data analysis that is not exciting, thus dampening my excitement for all data analysis.)  We talked a bit of strategy regarding my design, who I might interview, etc.  I told her I realized how much stinking work this is going to be.  Spare me the sighs and eye-rolls.  I know.  It's a dissertation.  I know I signed up for it.  However, it is a lot of work.
After she inspired me to get going, we delved into some delicious gossip and catching up.  What fun.

Then, I left the building and it snowed. ugh. I don't like snow.

Tomorrow, Saturday, I teach my last class for the week.  My week is slightly thrown off working Tuesday through Saturday.  Then, I'm out of town for a family funeral.  More on that later.  I really need to pack. I'm not sure if I have enough clean items of the unmentionable nature to last me for the weekend.

Distraction

Right now I am supposed to be working on a paper and a powerpoint.  I am doing neither.  Instead, Elliot and I are completely immersed in redesigning the blog.  Just changing a few things here and there.  It was starting to really bug me.  The colors and lines were off and I just could not wait another day. Now, I need to get to it though. Isaac will be calling me soon.  Hope you like the new colors. I'm sure it will change again.  What do you do to distract yourself from working?


ps. Here is a picture of Elliot, my main computer assistant:

Back to Reality

I just got back in town last night, after a really great trip to Houston for my sister's wedding.  It was a great time.  I got to see so many great people and spend some time relaxing.  After my last post, I pretty much did nothing related to school at all.  So, this post is not really school/dissertation related.  The only thing I'll say on that topic is that I have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow and I honestly have no idea if I'm supposed to bring anything in or have accomplished anything before it.  ooops!  I guess I'll find out tomorrow.  I was surprised to see that I even had an appt. with her on my calendar.
Now I'm back home, to dryer air. My cuticles are already starting to crack.  Ugh, just one more great thing about being in a place with a real winter. It is supposed to snow this week and I'm dreading that.

So, I thought I'd share my sister's wedding invitation with you all.  I had every intent to actually take photos while I was there.  I think I took about 3.  Good thing I dragged my camera and an extra lens all the way to Houston and back.  Anyway, this image pretty much captures the tone and awesomeness of their wedding.

They had a photobooth too, which was super fun! I have one shot from that, which I'll post once I scan it in.

Well, I'm off to take my computer somewhere to work. Then I have a pilates appointment with a new instructor, which I'm slightly nervous about.  I really loved Dana so much.  If you live in Evergreen, CO,  you should definitely go to Dana.  It will change your life.

I can tell I'm tired and not focused based on the schizophrenic nature of this post, so I'm off!  So much to do this week!

Awkward

You know what is awkward?  Many things.  I'll post on this topic often.  It's the problem with being a counselor.  You're constantly in meta-analysis mode.  The other problem with being a counselor, you say 'meta' alot.

Back to the topic at hand.  When someone makes a joke about a personality trait they don't believe they have, but they actually do - that's awkward.

In light of the fact that I just commented on this social phenomenon, I'd like to state, for the record, that I, myself, am awkward in various social situations.  I know this about myself.  I try to only make fun of myself in a self-deprecating way, thus avoiding the awkward situation mentioned above.  And also, I try to keep some friends around who are willing to make fun of me.  If you'd like to apply, let me know.

Hello November

Well, November is here folks.  This leaves me about 9 months until my tentative proposal deadline. I absolutely want to make this deadline, but 9 months doesn't seem long enough to put together 100 pages of writing, does it?  I can't exactly put it off until the week before.
Well, at least I've started my lit search.  This process wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  In addition, I found several lovely articles, including one on the effect of gender difference on learning to play jazz improvisation.  This is not related to my topic at all, but I found it very interesting and may use it in a class project.  So, you see, it wasn't a total waste.  Plus, I saved about 15 articles.  At some point, I will have to read those articles and glean loads of information out of them, but lets talk about that another day.
Another random fact, I got a B on my stats midterm.  I was so happy, I didn't even look through it.  I'll save that task until the night before the final.
So long folks.

What I did today. In other words, registration and research

I wrote a whole 2 page Word document about grounded theory.  I just summarized important information on a research methodology from a book.  I did this while on the airplane to Houston.

I also stayed up until 1am, central time, in order to register for classes.  I did this on 5 hours of sleep.  Of the 5 classes I need to register for, I only got into 1.  Fortunately, it was the one that I was staying up late for.

I got to the 6th level of Angry Birds.  I also did this on the airplane, while munching on peanuts, crackers and gingerale.  Thank you to the guy in the middle seat of row 2.  He gave me some good pointers on my angry bird skills.

Lit Review

I do not like lit reviews.  When I read articles, I skim the lit review.  I don't like searching for literature.  I don't like writing lit reviews.  I always find that the original author, most likely, said what they needed to say in the best way.  How can I compete with that?
So, naturally, this is the first thing that I get to work on for my dissertation.  Pardon me while I grouse about it.
It's gonna be a long few months.

Purpose

So, I'm supposed to start by writing my purpose, as in "What the heck am I doing and why?"  Sound like fun?  I didn't think it was a big deal at first, but now I'm really hesitant to get started.  This is for real ya'll!  I did open up a Word document and save it as "purpose."  I didn't write anything, just saved the document.
Don't judge me.

A Folder

So, I created a folder on my computer entitled "Dissertation."  Now this is for real.
I was actually supposed to be working on the dissertation itself, but I needed a place to keep it safe.  A safe haven, if you will.
Then I realized that my whole file system on the computer was seriously messed up.  It had to be fixed.  That has been my current project...cleaning up my files.  It only took about 30 minutes, but it's done.  Now my dissertation folder has a clean little home to live in.
So, now I'm set.  I can start my dissertation anytime.

Update

Well, well, well, here we are again.  It's been a busy semester.  Every semester, I think the next semester has to be calmer than the current one.  I keep being surprised.
So, an update.
I have chosen an advisor.  Hip, hip, hooray.
Now the real work begins.

Vacation

I've been on vacation since July 29. It has been perfectly lovely.  I spent some time in New York City, speaking at a conference and visiting with my friend Abby.  It was absolutely delightful.  We at lots of food, spent time with friends, and saw some great parts of the city.
Now, I'm in California, hanging out with Isaac and family.  We've also eaten a lot of food, gotten some great workouts in, and spent time sleeping in.
What a breath of fresh air. I haven't thought about school, except when people ask how it's going. I'm heading back in a few days and still haven't worked up my motivation to return for the fall.  I'll work on that next week.

Choosing

I'm posting from my phone today. We'll see how this goes.

Soon I must decide

The leader, the guide, the chair

I might need some time.

My alternate ending is.

I might need some pie.

Which in most ways sounds better than anything.

I'm in the middle of tossing around who I'd like to be the chair of my dissertation. I change my mind about twice a week. People tell me that i'm free to do what is best for me. The problem is, I don't really know what that is.  Oh well. I really do have time. I'll think about it later...now for some pie.

Bird by Bird

Bird by Bird, by Anne Lammot, encourages the writer to take the writing process in little bits- day by day, minute by minute, piece by piece, word by word, bird by bird.  I have this big untitled project called nick-named dissertation.  It feels far away, but is looming closer and closer. Actually, that's a much more grim view than I normally take. I actually am looking forward to parts of the process.  However, I need some work.  My goal is to write a bit everyday.  I'm using this blog to spur on the writing process.  In some cases it may get the juices flowing, in others it may be a distraction until I run out of things to say and am forced to go back to the more serious task at hand.  I'm also using it to document my process.  I may use it for research some day....who knows!  I'm looking forward to the journey!  Come with me...day by day.